Preplanning your memorial service is not only a meaningful exercise for yourself, but a very touching gift and comfort to your loved ones in their time of loss and grief. Second Unitarian Church has provided a set of questions to help you in this process. Even if you are not a member, you are welcome to use these questions to create your own plan. 

You can copy and paste these questions to a document, using a word processor of your choice. Or you can simply type or handwrite your answers, using the subheadings and numbers below.  

Upon completion of your plan, place it with other important documents and communicate its existence to the person(s) you have asked to coordinate your memorial service. If you want Second Unitarian Church to retain a copy, you may email it to info@2uomaha.org. Or mail a printed or handwritten copy to: 

Second Unitarian Church
Attn: Office Administrator
3012 S. 119 St.
Omaha, NE 68144

My Memorial Service Plan

Created By

1. Your Full Name:

2. Your contact information (address, phone, email):

3. Date this document is finalized:

Coordinator

1. Who will coordinate arrangements after your death?

2. What is their contact information (location, address, phone, email)?

3. What is their authority to do so?

____Next-of-kin

____Personal representative specified in will

____Person designated by you who has the “right of disposition of remains and funeral arrangements” per signed and notarized affidavit. (This person can be in lieu of or instead of your next-of-kin or personal representative. See Nebraska Revised Statute 30-2223.)

____Other: _____________________

Obituary

If you have already written your obituary, simply include a copy with your memorial plans. If not, here are some basic questions to help you or someone close to you write it.

1. How do you want your name to appear?

You may wish to insert a beloved nickname within your formal name, e.g. John A. “Jet” Smith. If you are a married woman who adopted your husband’s surname, you may wish to insert your birth surname, e.g., Mary Jane (Miller) Smith. You may wish to use your middle initial or spell it out.

2. What is your birthdate:

3. Are there details or facts you would like included?

4. How do you want to list surviving and deceased family members?

5. Are there any organizations that you would like memorials to be donated to?

Consider asking for a donation to the charity or organization of your choice in lieu of flowers.

Prepaid Arrangements

1. Do you have prepaid arrangements at a mortuary or crematory?
What is the name and contact information?

2. Have you selected and prepaid for a casket or urn?
If you already have an urn, where is it located?

3. Do you have prepaid arrangements at a cemetery?
What is the name, location and contact information?

Memorial Service Location(s)

1. Where would you like your memorial service(s) to be held?

Some people may have more than one memorial service, depending on where large groups of family or friends reside or due to a recent move. Others may have a non-traditional site in mind, like outdoors. This is your chance to express your thoughts. Second Unitarian Church’s space is provided as a service to members. Non-members can inquire as to its availability and fees.

2. Do you want a graveside service?
Where?

3. Do you want a reception after the service(s)?
Where?

Service Officiant and Other Participants

1. Is there a particular officiant you would like?

Second Unitarian Church can offer an officiant as a service to members. Non-members can inquire as to a Second Unitarian officiant’s schedule and fees. If an officiant is requested from outside of our congregation, and you wish to use our facilities, permission from our minister will be needed.

2. Are there others you would like to take part in the service as eulogists, readers, singers, musicians, or pallbearers?

Some folks may not be able to participate as intended, but could be labeled as an honorary participant, such as an honorary pallbearer.

Service Elements

1. Do you have a preferred picture and/or words to print on the cover of your Order-of- Service?

See Item No. 2 under Display Items for transferring your preferred picture to Second Unitarian Church.

2. Are there any particular songs you would like played?

You can look up hymns from Singing the Living Tradition, the gray hymnal, here, and songs from Singing the Journey, the teal hymnal, here. Pop, classical, folk… any song that has meaning can be included. If there is a story you wish to share with the song, please feel free to include it. Would you prefer live or pre-recorded music? If live, do you have a preferred group, style, or instrument?

3. Are there any particular readings, poetry, quotes, or prayers you would like to include in your service?

The gray hymnal, Singing the Living Tradition, has some readings and prayers in the back. The UUA Worship Web has many resources including some for memorial services. As a UU church, we welcome any words from any faith or written tradition that have meaning and inspire you: you are certainly not restricted to our resources.

4. Do you have a message you wish to share at your memorial?

5. Do you qualify for military honors & do you want that?

If so, provide dates of service, rank and any other information your family would need to arrange for that. There are many unique observances, such as a gun salute, a color guard, flag presentation, etc.

6. Are there any other elements besides those listed above you strongly want included in your memorial?

E.g., a limbo contest, barbeque afterwards, a blanket drive for the humane society, etc.

7. Are there any elements you strongly desire not to have in your memorial service?

If you have any concerns someone may try to have you “express” something from beyond the grave that is not in keeping with you, this might be the place for it. Or maybe you have a negative association with a certain hymn? Is there an individual who should not be allowed to attend your memorial service?

Display Items

1. Do you want your urn or casket at the service?

2. Do you have any images, video or audio you want included in your memorial order-of-service or before or during your memorial service?

Reach out to Second Unitarian Church to discuss ways to transfer (burn to CD, share link to folder on the cloud, etc.) We suggest titling each of your images this way so we can be sure they remain a part of your file: YourLastName_FirstName_Descriptor. Descriptors can simply be a number or “favorite portrait,” “family,” “graduation,” etc. (e.g., Smith_John_FamilyVacation1978.jpg)

3. Are there any items that capture your “essence” that you would like displayed?

A favorite creative project, sports equipment, book, car, etc.

4. Are there any honors you would like displayed?

Plaques, shirts, trophies, etc., can be shown with other belongings to share this side of you.

Legacy Contribution(s)

1. Do you have a legacy plan in place for contributing to the Second Unitarian Endowment Fund? When you include the Second Unitarian Endowment Fund in your estate plans, or make contributions to it during your lifetime, you become a Full Circle member. Such contributions ensure a legacy that continues to grow in support of our shared values for generations to come. Planned giving includes naming the Second Unitarian Church Endowment Fund as a beneficiary in life insurance policies, investment accounts, wills, or other estate planning documents. To learn more about the Endowment Fund, click here. And for more information about Full Circle planned giving, including suggested verbiage, check this Q & A page.

____Yes, I am a member of Full Circle.

____I have made contributions to the Endowment Fund.

____I have included Second Unitarian in my estate plans.

____No, I am not a member of Full Circle.

____I have other legacy plans in place for the following organizations: ____________________